Did that really happen? Regression Hypnotherapy - fact or fiction?

Following a regression hypnotherapy session, my client looked at me and asked, “How do I know if those things really happened?”

This wasn’t the first time I have been asked this question. And it probably won’t be the last.

So, are the events that surface during age regression real?

There’s no flat ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. What we know is that the mind works through association. That’s why current situations can act as “triggers” which bring up unresolved thoughts and feelings from the past.

It’s also what makes age regression possible. We use this ability of the mind to associate back to earlier events.

The problem is that the subconscious mind is not rational. Reason and rationale are characteristics of the conscious mind. The subconscious mind has its own reasons. And sometimes they’re not that rational! Which is why we can come up with all the reasons why we should change – our thoughts, feelings, behavior - and then fail to do so.

The subconscious mind does not make a distinction between real and imagined. If you have ever walked in the garden at dusk and felt your heart leap into your throat as you mistook the garden hose for a snake, you know about this tendency. Even though the snake was imaginary, all the physiological responses associated with unexpectedly encountering a threat on your path were real.

Ever had a nightmare? Was it real or imagined? Did you wake in a sweat? Was your heart pounding in your chest? Breathing hard? As far as your subconscious mind was concerned, that experience was real. Very real.

Reality is really just a matter of perception.

Children are wonderfully imaginative and creative. And the younger the child, the more limited the knowledge-base from which to interpret events. As a result, misperceptions can form early in life.

Up until about age 3, a child’s perception of the world around it is predominantly egocentric. Whatever is happening is perceived by the child as an extension of him/herself. So, if Mommy and Daddy are fighting, it is not ‘unreasonable’ for the child to assume that s/he is responsible for causing the conflict.

The subconscious mind is the repository of all our learning. And it is magnificently efficient. It forms habits so we don’t have to keep re-learning things we do routinely. Imagine what life would be like if we had to keep re-learning how to tie our shoe-laces, brush our teeth, tell time, or drive a car!

Habits make us more efficient.

Unfortunately, this subconscious efficiency includes a tendency to generalize learning. So events that are similar can get merged into a single memory-event. I think of this as a sort of file compression. The episodes are so similar or repetitive that they get dumped into the same file.

Is such a memory any less real than the actual events it is comprised of? You tell me.

The younger the child the more body-centered it is. And the less ability it has to reason. The critical factor of the mind isn’t really in place until 5 or 6 years of age. And the brain’s logic centers aren’t fully developed until around age 12 to 14!  So there’s plenty of opportunity for even the most harmless event to be traumatizing.

Trauma is defined as any event (real or imagined) that is perceived as life-threatening (regardless of logic) and experienced in a state of helplessness.

The most helpless state is that of infancy. The only defense an infant possesses is its ability to cry for help. No child can survive long without a caregiver. So, if help does not come when the child cries (either quickly enough or consistently), the child interprets this as life-threatening. And this seeds fear.

A rigid feeding schedule can be traumatizing to a hungry infant! (Believe me, I have dealt with this in regression!)

Trauma also causes dissociation. That’s numbing. Leaving the body. This is actually a natural response meant to protect us from the pain. The problem is that it also blocks our ability to think which distorts perception.

Did it really happen exactly as reported? The more intense the emotion present, the less likely the report ‘facts’ are accurate. But feelings don’t lie.

I’m not interest in ‘what happened’ so much as how it affected the child. And how it continues to affect the client. I realize subconscious ‘truth’ is frequently at odds with rational, adult thinking. My job is to help the client heal by resolving the conflict between their head and their heart.

So whenever a client asks, “Was that event real?” I ask, “Was the feeling you were just feeling real?”

And, of course, it was.

I then ask, “How do you know it was real?”

Answer: They could feel it in the body.

I then ask the client how they feel now. Having released the feeling, they naturally feel better. More peaceful. Happy, even.

I then ask, “What’s more important? That you be ‘right’ or happy?

“These were simply the ‘facts’ as your subconscious mind is concerned. Realize they were based in the perceptions of the child you once were. Children routinely misperceive events. So distortions in memory are possible.

“But feelings never lie.

“We’re not here to do forensics! We’re here to help your subconscious mind understand that you’re not a child anymore. So you can heal and feel better. And you do feel better, don’t you?”

So, now I ask you - what’s more important?

Validating that an event really happened?

Or healing the feelings so the client can be happy?

The Devil’s Therapy: from Hypnosis to Healing is now available! To request your free sampling email wendie@devilstherapy.com and I’ll send you the first three chapters from Module 1 (there are 9).